Meeting Marissa in the pods felt like being introduced to a bubbly, never-ending flow of effervescent positive energy. She’s one of the few people whose brilliant smile can be heard through her words. For Love Is Blind fans, Marissa’s personality seemed a direct contradiction to her former 8-year career in the U.S. Navy, as a Naval Surface Warfare Officer. Marissa left the navy to become a lawyer. The new reality star’s girlish personality, while charming with suitors in the pods, felt like a gateway to a much more complicated and layered Marissa. She praised the military and her time spent on the ship, but also voiced an extreme aversion to religion. It didn’t take a psychology degree to realize Marissa’s over the top giddy persona was created to avoid or escape something very different.
Her attraction to a 35-year-old Program Associate at a justice reform nonprofit, took viewers off guard, especially when the Venezuelan-born Ramses openly criticized the US military. Marissa’s unexpected attraction still left fans questioning her polarizing character traits. She seemed to admire Ramses’ disgust with the military. She acknowledged good memories with Mormons, yet harbored a palpable disgust for religion. Hearing she did not want to be married by a man was another unanswered red flag. After the LIB couples left Cancun and returned to their real lives, Ramses got the opportunity to meet Marissa’s siblings and mother. The televised meeting with Marissa’s mother, Vanessa, provided context to Marissa’s huge internal contradictions.
Marissa’s Bubbly Persona Is an Overcompensation For a Dysfunctional Childhood
Vanessa showed up for the scheduled post-pod meeting with her daughter and Ramses with a sour disposition, a resting bitch face, and her three other children, with three different fathers. At first glance, Vanessa appeared to be sitting beside three random adults because each sibling looked strikingly different from the next. Marissa happily addressed the pink elephant in the room, explaining that she and her siblings all had different fathers. The smiles of Marissa’s two brothers and sister were eclipsed by Vanessa’s look of disdain taking in Ramsey’s appearance. She started the introductory conversation by insulting Ramsey’s fashion sense and hair. She accused him of being stuck in the 80s and made fun of his hair. Marissa’s smile appeared pasted on as her mother continued berating her fiancé. It was painfully clear at that moment that Marissa’s forced happy-go-lucky persona was a gross overcompensation for her mother’s rude and aggressive disposition.
At one point, Marissa excused herself from the table and left Ramses to fend for himself with her disjointed family. Vanessa leaped at the opportunity to make Ramses even more uncomfortable by insisting he should be willing to sign a prenuptial agreement if he wasn’t after her daughter’s future riches. Vanessa poked fun at Ramses job and attempted to emasculate him by bragging about Marissa’s potential salary as a lawyer in comparison to his non-profit gig. Ramses handled himself like a gentleman, but he appeared to tear up while defending himself. “I’ve seen my daughter get effed over by her father, and her stepfathers and her ex’s and I don’t want to see that happen here. If you hurt my daughter I’ll cut your balls off,” she threatened.
Marissa returned to the table, but Vanessa was in rare form with no signs of slowing down. “I don’t care what you and my daughter do at the wedding. I mean, nothing lasts forever. Marriage isn’t forever. People move on,” she spat sarcastically. Vanessa didn’t reserve her vitirol for Ramses alone, she turned on Marissa insisting her daughter was a bitch. After returning to their shared apartment, Marissa asked Ramses for feedback from the meeting. Still in shock, Ramses didn’t say much, but it was clear he was still reeling from Vanessa’s verbal assassination. “She needs therapy,” Marissa offered, “she really does.”
Marissa, Her Siblings and Mother Need Therapy Immediately
Although she didn’t verbalize her mother’s obvious effect on her, Marissa’s energy after the meetup with her mom was completely different. She informed Ramses that she was going off birth control and if he wanted to continue intimacy, he’d have to settle for condom sex. When he asked if she was willing to compromise, her answer was a resounding no. The argument felt less about birth control and pregnancy and more about self-sabotaging her relationship after the wake-up call of her mother’s toxicity.
Not even in a Love is Blind reality world would Marissa be able to have escaped her mother’s extreme dysfunction and negative outlook on relationships unscathed. For Ramses, the meeting should’ve acted as a glaring red flag of what his future could entail. Marissa’s acknowledgment of her mother’s need for therapy was insightful, but it’s clear her ambition and accomplishments were a direct response to her mother’s irresponsibility during her childhood. The navy was a safe space for Marissa and the courtroom offers another opportunity for structure and success. Unfortunately, for Marissa, her unresolved issues with her mother are not going to be erased by a successful structured profession, a bubbly personality and involuntary denial.
